It will be okay
by OIAll
Summary: Pain can make you do many things, and not even the girl of steel can escape the madness that comes with a bad choice. Angst. Good ending. Hopefully good enough :) (Yes, again, i re-posted it on Archive of our own)


I really like oneshots. I get this crazy ideas at random times and well, they are easier to complete. I'm still working on my writing and i do rush a thing or two from time to time, especially because i want to get everything included in one go, but I'm getting there so i hope this is better than my previous supercorp oneshot. Warning, it is kind of angsty but it has a good ending. And it's short so... i hope i managed to pull it off.

I need to continue writing my other story (For those who read that, I'm on it. Piper and Alex are still in my head and I'm also trying to work on making that one better) but i had to get this piece out of my head.

Enjoy!

I don't owe any of the Supergirl character. This is all just for fun

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"Alex!" Kara struggled against the chains that kept her trap, the kryptonite necklace that Lillian had set on her neck, making it hard for her to break free "Alex, don't do it!"

"She can't hear you, Supergirl" Lillian's words hit Kara hard and the woman was standing next to her, enjoying it all, everything was going according to her plan and Kara hated it "All she knows is that you are in danger and doing this will make it stop"

" _We are almost there, Little Danvers. Hold it a little longer"_ Maggie's voice came through her ear comms and for a moment, she thought they could all make it out

"Alex!" Her body started moving around more, if she could just make the kryptonite fall "Alex… Lena is not dangerous, she can't even move. She has a gag, Alex. She can't hurt us, please! I know you can still hear me. I know you are there"

For the tenth time, Kara let her eyes fall on Lena's, her face was calm, but she could see raw emotions on her eyes, the panic at not being able to move, to say anything, to be trap once again by her mother… and when her green eyes found Kara's blue ones, Lena saw her struggle, she saw how scared Kara was and for the raven-haired woman, it was like everything stopped and she made up her mind. The fear was replaced with Love, love and acceptance; She was trying let Kara know how much love she was feeling, telling her that it was okay… Lena was letting go.

"She killed Kara!" Alex's voice sounded pained, not like herself. Kara couldn't imagine the horrible things that Lillian and her device was making her see but it was strong, she was trying so her to get Alex back, but nothing was working.

"No! I'm here, Alex. Look at me! I'm here" It was like her words were bouncing against a wall, falling on deaf ears, it was so frustrating

"Shot her, Agent Danvers. End it all. She is the one to blame for all the pain you are feeling. Kill her" Alex's hand tremble a bit but her finger was over the gun's trigger after Lillian's words

Kara groaned and started pushing against the chains "Alex, please. I love her!" She felt Lena's eyes on her, but she couldn't do it, she couldn't see Lena right now, not after seeing how ready she was to die "I told you, remember? I told you that I love her… I was going to tell her. I still want to tell her… If you kill her, Alex… If you kill her, you might as well kill me"

There was a flash of something in Alex's eyes, it was fast and for a second, Kara was hopeful, but it was gone before she could say anything else "The world will be better off like this"

The next couple of minutes were a blur in Kara's mind, it all happened so fast… The bullet leaving the gun, flying across the room, hitting Lena as Kara's painful shout was heard through the whole building. The raven-haired woman gasped behind her gag and everything went black on her mind; all of senses shut down, sudden strength rushing through her body and she broke free; Kara threw Lillian and her device across the room, her mind going crazy and so far gone that she didn't hear Lillian's neck breaking after hitting a wall, or Alex's eyes clearing once the mind control stopped.

All Kara could see was red, all Kara could feel was pain. Two times, two times she had lost people she loved to Alex's hand, two times but this time around, it ripped her soul. Lena didn't deserve this, she didn't deserve any of this. Lena should be alive and happy… Lena, who made her feel so love, so love and not so lonely anymore. Her Lena… She reached Alex's side in a flash and without thinking, held her up by the neck, floating above the ground. Alex locked eyes with her, she was surprised but her sister was not scared, maybe worried, but not scared… Kara wanted to laugh, she could break her so easily, but Kara loved her so much. It was funny in a sickening way, one person making her feel so much love and so much hate… The only thing Kara wanted was to make it stop.

"Supergirl, put her down!" Jo'nn 's strong voice filled the quiet of the room and Kara didn't move, her eyes filled with pain and rage, Alex holding her gaze while squeezing Kara's arm tightly

"I'm sorry" Kara had only a moment to register Maggie's words before a sudden pain hit her shoulder, making her drop Alex's body to the floor

Kara scream and fell as well, she saw Maggie rushing to Alex, checking if she had a pulse, making sure she was alive… Maggie shot her with Kryptonite, she shot her to protect Alex who was most likely dead after hitting the floor so hard. Pain grew stronger within her, her sister was gone, Lena was gone… Jo'nn was giving orders to take her down; she had lost, everything was a mess… and while looking at Lillian's dead body staring back at her with a sick smile, Kara knew the woman had won… she didn't kill all the aliens in the world, but she took everything away from Kara.

With the last bit of strength, Kara stood and took off, barely managing to dodge the bullets that were being shot at her, she went as fast as she could, glad to notice that Jo'nn was too surprise by her flying with a kryptonite bullet buried on her shoulder to follow; it gave her an advantage, it gave her time to hide… it gave her time to reach the dessert, hit the sand and crash. Everything was numb, nothing felt real and the last thought on her mind before everything went black was of Lena's limps body on the chair and Alex's blood as she laid on the floor.

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The last two months had been critical for Kara; She couldn't go back to National City. She felt like a wanted woman… She probably was after killing one of their agents, after killing Lillian Luthor but she didn't care. There was nothing waiting for her there and she didn't want to face the people she hurt… Every night she would get nightmares about the events that changed her life. Jo'nn 's disapproving look, Maggie's hate, James and Winn's utter disgusts but above all, Lena's hard eyes looking at her and Alex's broken face

It was torture, Lena would always blame her, asking her why she killed her mother, why she killed Alex… ' _I told you to let me go, Kara. But you are a murderer, you are like Lex… maybe even worse. She was family, Kara'…_ It hurt, it hurt because she was right, and Kara would throw up every time after that… it was like Lena was hunting her and she couldn't take it. And then Alex… sweet, beautiful Alex. Alex who sacrificed everything for Kara just to die on her hands … ' _Why, Kara? Why did you do it? I always looked out for you, I was happy… you took it all away from me. Why?';_ Kara would stay awake for days if Alex came to her dream… it was her one and only regret.

Kara had decided her punishment was to live alone, away from the people, where she couldn't harm anyone, the kryptonite bullet still burning her skin as a reminder of her sins; she didn't eat as much, she would sleep on the streets, her suit long gone and forgotten while covering herself with some old boyish clothes and a wig that made her look like a poor, lost boy with eyes filled with pain and hollow. No one would see her, no one would talk to her, no one would know how deeply she hurt and that, that was just what she deserved.

For a while she thought the DEO would let her go, but of course they wanted to bring her back, of course they wanted to give her the criminal treatment she deserved but Kara was a coward; she didn't want to face the people that used to love her or be in a place so filled with memories of Alex, of Lena, of her life… so she did her best to hide, to stop all of their missions with no causalities because she knew they were treating her like dangerous Alien and it was hard. The bullet was taking her powers, making her weak. Her body slowly getting used to the substance, but she knew it was a matter of time before it took over, she had fought long enough, she was ready.

But life had other plans, and as she laid down on the old mattress she found on an alley, she heard the familiar steps, people positioning on the buildings around her and muffled voices planning on taking her away. Kara didn't have it in her to fight, maybe if they found her corpse everyone would feel some closure, some relieve knowing she was gone, so she didn't fight. She stayed on the mattress as they moved closer and a painful sob escaped her lips when her sister's face appeared in front of her, white lights keeping her from focusing completely on the woman.

"Kara… At last" Those words, they hit her hard and a sense of peace came into her. At least Alex was there to meet her on the other side, maybe she could forgive her, maybe they could be together, maybe she was here to take her to Lena

"… I'm sorry…" Kara had to say it, she had to. She didn't know what was waiting but Alex had to know that she didn't mean to do it, that she had love her and with that in mind, Kara stopped feeling; no more pain, no more sorrow. Just her and nothingness as the world ceased to exist around her

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Coming back to her senses was always hard, it felt like she had been drowning and after struggling for long, she was finally reaching the surface and getting some air; Kara was confused, was she dead? Was she alive?... Her eyes wandered around the room and when she tried to move, she realized her hands and legs were tied on a table. Kara tried to move but it didn't do anything and only then she notice she was on a cell, a cell with strong green light… it burned, it hurt, if she had died, she was sure this was hell.

"Stop! It's too strong. Just because she managed to keep that bullet for long, it doesn't mean we can expose her to this much kryptonite. Stop!" Kara let out a pained shout, it was not the lights, it was the voice, it was… "Turn it off! You are hurting her. Turn it off right now!"

In a flash, the green lights were off, and Kara left the bed, moved to a corner and hugged herself, burying her face on her knees as she tried to calm her breath. She was trapped, Kara hated being trap, the room was too small, her powers were back, everything was loud and overwhelming, the panic was kicking it. ' _I'm going crazy, I'm going crazy… Alex is… Alex…'_

"Kara" Her eyes closed tightly when she heard that voice again, she heard the woman fight with someone… the voice was familiar, they didn't want to let Alex in… Good, keep her away "She is my sister, step aside or I swear to god…"

"Move" Another familiar voice, Maggie… why would Maggie help Alex get in there? It was dangerous. She should protect Alex, shot another bullet for her "Vazquez, Jo'nn said…"

"I'm right here, detective Sawyers… It's okay, let them in. Keep the lights on a low setting"

Steps were moving closer and it felt like too much, she buried her nails on her legs, trying to stay focus, trying to make them go away. It was a dream, another dream, a vivid dream "Kara, it's okay… You are okay. Focus on my voice"

"I… I c-can't… I… I killed…" A hand touched her shoulder and she took a sharp breath "T-This is not real… not real. Wake up, wake up, wake up"

"You are awake. Kara, you are awake. It's me. Alex… I'm fine. Look at me" It sounded so real, so right, Kara did want to look at her, she did but she wouldn't take it if it wasn't really her

"I…" The green lights came back on and Kara felt her body growing weaker, it was less painful, but she could feel it everywhere… it was enough to ensure she wasn't a risk and that made her look up "Alex"

The red-haired woman smiled at her and carefully reached to caress her cheek "Hi… it's me. I'm fine" Her jaw clenched, she was going crazy "Hey, hey… I promise" A warm had took hers and it felt so real

Kara let herself really look at her sister, she looked tired, bags under her eyes and cane resting on the floor next to her; just then she noticed her leg and some sort of metal device keeping a hold of it… slowly, she reached to touch it "Oh Rao"

"No, no… It's alright. I can walk. I had so many surgeries but it's getting better, Kara. They have help me. I will be back in shape in no time. Ask Maggie"

The words were being process on her mind slowly, everything becoming clear, her eyes fell on Maggie "You… You protected her. She is alive thanks to you"

"I did" Maggie's tone was firm, strong and cold "… I would do it again" For a second she thought the woman hated her but when she locked eyes with her, she realized that Maggie understood ' _I shot you when I thought you had kill her, you reacted after she…'_ ; Kara stopped her thoughts, she didn't deserve that. Maggie should hate her

"Get away" Kara hopped her sister could understand, she had to understand "I could hurt you… I'm not… I'm so sorry"

"I get it, Kara… I… I shot your girlfriend. I thought she had kill you… I wouldn't have reacted better if it had been me… we need to work on that" Alex's voice was soft and gentle, she was really trying to get to her

Kara took a sharp breath and shook her head "I can't… I can't… I'm still… she is still dead, Alex"

"W-What? Kara, I…" Alex didn't get to finish, the door opening hard to let another person join the room, and for Kara the world stopped again

"I'm still here, Kara" It was Lena, she had to blink once, twice… three times to make sure it was not an illusion… she had many of those, something didn't feel right

"L-Lena?" Her voice broke a bit, she couldn't help it, she had convinced herself… she saw her body, she saw the bullet "I… How did you…"

"Agent Danvers didn't kill me. Lillian's plan failed. I'm still here, you are still here. The operation was a success" Lena's voice was smooth, strong but so… off. Her posture, it looked awkward… calm. It was unlike her. Her hard eyes… even if Lena was mad, she always found a way to show Kara she cared… even if Lena hated her, Kara was sure she would be able to read her eyes, her emotions… It only became more obvious when she tried to pick on her familiar heartbeat and it hit her… This was wrong. Her Lena wouldn't be talking to her to let her know she was fine, she would be by her side with Alex, kissing her and her heart wouldn't sound so off… not unless she hated her, unless she was scared, unless…

Kara was up as fast as she could with the lights still on her, she marched towards the woman and pushed her against the wall, a groan coming out of her when she saw red eyes replacing Lena's beautiful green ones "What gives you the right to take her shape? What gives you the right to come here and make me hope she is alive? Why are you doing this to me? Why!?"

She threw a punch as Jo'nn 's face went back to normal. Her fist hit him hard despite the lights, she went for it again and again, not managing to hit him much and starting to ache as the lights became strong again "Supergirl, stand down" Kara didn't listen to him, why did he do it? Why? Why? Why? But before she could get an answer, the pain became too much, and she was on her knees screaming, Alex's voice was the last thing she heard before passing out.

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The second time she woke up, Kara was on a softer bed; the restrains were back on her arms and legs, burning against her skin, but she was out of the cell; her hearing picked up some voices, shouting coming from outside the room. It took Kara a minute to pick up on the conversation but when she finally did, Kara felt sick

"…No, don't ask me to understand. Don't ask me to stand back and support what you did. You should have call me the minute she woke up, you should have let me show her I'm still here" Lena's voice, her real voice, was filled with anger, almost rage "You had no right to do that to her, Mr. Jones and you won't stop me from going inside that room to make sure my girlfriend is okay"

"It was a risk, Ms. Luthor. We didn't know how she would react. Last time she was violent, she almost killed Agent Danvers… She is not stable"

"Of course, she is not fucking stable! She saw her sister shooting her girlfriend. She saw her sister going down, but she didn't go crazy. Alex got hurt because Maggie shot… And don't fight me on this because we both know Alex would be dead if Kara was trying to break her neck. Everyone did what they thought was right and right now, being there for her is more important. She doesn't need people _, her people_ , playing with her head" Jo'nn was quiet after Lena's speech

"Ms. Luthor…" He tried to start again but then Kara could hear Alex let out a frustrated sigh

"Remember when you found out who M'gann was? … Don't give me that look. It's the same, Jo'nn. You almost killed her. You were so close to kill her because her kind killed your family. You were mad, you were ragging… what would had happened if she had been the one doing it?" Alex waited but she didn't get an answer "You are not a monster, you were hurting… Kara was hurting. We all make mistakes, we all do things we regret when we hurt… Did you see how broken she was when she saw me? That's still my sister, that's still our Kara"

For a while, everyone stopped talking and Kara was able to focus on Lena's heartbeat, it was there, it was real, it was right, it was everything she was trying to find before "Let Ms. Luthor in… Stay in position"

The door open and Kara was able to see Alex standing next to Maggie and in a blink, Lena was by her side, gasping with the sight; The blonde didn't dare to speak, she could see Lena, she could smell her and still, it didn't feel… "Are you real? Are you really here?"

Lena let out a sob as she moved closer and took her hand, feeling her soft skin made her start to cry "Yes, darling. It's me. I'm fine… You are fine" She noticed the restrains and frowned "Oh sweetie, how can they… let me…" Lena moved a bit and carefully took them off, her thumbs caressing her hurt skin before looking up "Kara, my Kara…"

The blonde sat up and carefully pulled Lena closer, she let her hands brush against her arms, feel her skin, ensure she was there and once she was convinced, Kara cried more, she cried more and pulled the woman closer to her, hugging her and burying her face on her chest "It's you, it's really you…"

Lena got in the bed and pulled Kara to lay with her, holding her close as she caressed her head "It is. I'm here darling, it's over. We made it"

"I'm so sorry… I'm a monster. I killed Lillian, I hurt Alex… I didn't protect you. I don't deserve you"

"Don't. It was a challenging situation, Kara. My mother had it coming and… we were all going crazy. It all went to hell fast. Too fast. Don't blame yourself, Kara. It won't do you any good" Lena kissed her head and that only made her cry even more "We will take it slow, but it will be fine. I promise"

A nod, that was all she managed to give Lena to let her know she understood, a nod, and she hopped it was enough because she was still overwhelmed, and the tears wouldn't stop. It took some time, maybe hours, before she managed to pull back, the shadow of a smile coming to her face "This feels like a dream"

"No dream, darling. I'm here" And almost like she was trying to prove it, Lena moved closer and carefully kissed her lips and Kara couldn't stop the tears that silently fell from her face as she let herself feel it. It was short, but Lena was really trying to show her it was real "I love you too, Kara Zor-El. I can't take those words out of my head. I love you too, and after all we went through, I won't go another day without telling you"

Their foreheads rest together and Kara closed her eyes, she was trying hard to keep her thought at bay, her mind at ease. She could feel the doubts, the panic starting to raise; it felt too right, there was no way it was right "I won't be able to stand losing you again… losing Alex. It will kill me, Lena"

"I know. I can't promise that something like this won't happen again, Kara… but I can promise that I will always try to come back for you, and I need you to promise the same because I'm know I will die if I lose you"

Kara nodded, managing to control her sobs, and after hugging Lena close for some time, she finally pulled back and cleaned her face a bit "Lena, I… Can you call Alex? B-But don't go too far. I want you here after"

The woman nodded and kissed her cheek, moving out of the bed and leaving the room. That small moment gave Kara time to sit up and fix herself a bit, looking to the side when her sister finally walked inside "I'm sorry"

"I know… I'm sorry too" Alex's voice sounded so soft and tired and Kara opened her arms, the older woman moving as fast as she could with her cane as she joined her sister and cried with her as they hugged "I was so worried"

"I thought I killed you. I didn't mean to… I didn't want to…"

"I know. I was never scared, Kara. I knew you wouldn't do it" Alex pulled her closer, as close as she could "I tried to tell Maggie, I did… I was so mad at her for shooting you, but she was just protecting me and… I should have listen, going in alone was such a bad idea but I was worried. You were not answering, and I couldn't wait… this was my fault, all of it"

"It was a trap all along, for you, for me… Lillian was playing us and…" Kara took a breath "I'm just glad it is over"

"But it is not" Alex pulled back to look at her, a small smile on her face, red eyes looking over her "It will be but Kara… you need help, we all do. Everyone is hurting, and I know you are as well… please, let us help. I know it was hard"

"I had nightmares every night…" The admission was quiet, but Kara knew her sister had hear it

"Oh Kara…" Alex caressed her face and nodded at her "We will get through this, I know we will"

They held each other for a while, Kara needed to fell her close; it was far from okay but having her sister close was all she needed. No one interrupted them, they all let them take as much time as they needed, so when Alex felt Kara pulling away, she kissed her forehead and nodded, knowing they both needed to rest and for that, Kara needed Lena and Alex needed to go back to Maggie. Her sister promised to come back in the morning and then left, Lena coming back in not long after, silently joining her in bed.

"Hi" Lena's voice was soft, the young CEO pulling her close and kissing her head "Good?"

"No" Kara said softly and bury her face on Lena's neck, letting the woman's scent fill her completely "But I hope it will be"

Lena hummed and started drawing small circles on her back "I will be there for you, we will work on it. But for now, … let's just rest, alright?"

Kara nodded and pulled back, she reached for her face and gave her a soft kiss "I love you, Lena… So much. will you be here when I wake up?"

"Always darling. I love you too and I'm not going anywhere" Lena kissed her one last time and then helped her settle "Sleep"

And Kara did, she closed her eyes and let the darkness take over. It wasn't easy, and she woke up at midnight when her nightmares started hitting her again, making her believe it was all a lie, that she was still on that old mattress alone, but Lena pull her close, whispered soft words to calm her down, and kissed her tears away. It was not fine, it was far from it, but at least Kara knew it was not a lie, they were alive, hurting but alive and with that thought, she managed to sleep again, a soft ' _I love you'_ whispered to her ear to lure her back to sleep.

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Loved it? Hated it? All comments are welcome, really. Even if you think it sucks haha See you next time


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